Intentionally Cleaning Out My “Shoulds”
It’s that time again when we join to share our monthly reports with the #OneWordCommunity over at Lisa Notes. We share how we discover, learn and grow with our Word Of The Year.
So I have to tell you, I had no idea what I would write about this month— UNTIL. I read Lauren Sparks’ update on her One Word 2022 REST. Her article titled What Should We Do With “Should” hit me like a ton of bricks. Please click on the link to read her article if you haven’t already. Maybe it will hit you like a ton of bricks too.
In her article, she says— “Something that I used to enjoy has morphed into a chore to check off my list.” It brought me to a stark realization that that’s Me too! I paused to reflect on many of the things she mentioned and so much more. Because her words touched me, they prompted me that I “Intentionally” need to assess and clean out my “shoulds.” Thank you, Lauren, for inspiring me to intentionally clean out my “shoulds.”
So what is it about “shoulds”?
Your Dictionary describes “Should” in this way— Should signifies something you ought to do or something that is a good idea or that something that may happen. Used to express obligation, duty, propriety, or desirability. Used to express obligation or duty.
Some of my “shoulds” include
— I “should” intentionally walk every day.
— I “should” do the laundry.
— I “should” fold the clothes.
— I “should” make that phone call.
— I “should” write that review.
— I “shouldn’t” get upset.
— So and so “should” know better than that.
— They “shouldn’t” drive like that.
— I “should” put gas in my car.
— I “should” be able to balance everything.
Then I got to thinking. Let’s intentionally think about it. How many “should” and, for that matter, let’s throw in “musts” statements do we make in daily life? How many would you have at the end of the day if you kept count and did a tally, do you think? 5, 10, 15? 20? or more?
Some things we can do to reduce our “shoulds” intentionally include
— Maybe experiment and keep a log of “should” statements.
— Notice how you feel when you think of a “should,” i.e., physically, mentally, and emotionally.
— Forgive yourself and clean the slate.
— Be creative in finding replacements and have fun doing it.
— Show yourself self-compassion.
— Accepting the “should” emotion.
— Stop judging your emotions, thinking you “should” or “shouldn’t” do something or feel a certain way.
— Be self-aware.
— Consider why things didn’t unfold as you planned.
— Can you gain any insights from assessing your “shoulds”?
As I started intentionally thinking about it, I realized that many “shoulds” that come to mind make me think I’m self-defeating. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to be thwarting and intentionally assessing and cleaning out my “shoulds.”
What about you?
Do you have any “shoulds” that you need to clean out?
Do you have any self-defeating “shoulds” that hold you back?
Linking up this week with # One Word Community Inspire Me Monday the other Inspire Me Monday Remember Me Monday Monday Musings InstaEncouragements Tell His Story Let’s Have Coffee #AnythingGoesLinky Hearth & Soul Thankful Thursday Grace & Truth Your The Star Blog Hop Sweet Tea & Friends
I cleaned out my “shoulds” many years ago, Paula, and I can tell you, cleaning them out leads to a release of its burdensome weight. I’m so glad you are intentionally going after it with a vengeance! It takes courage to wipe the shoulds out completely, but you’ll be glad you did! Blessings of peace!
Lisa Blair recently posted…3 Targeted Steps for Intentional Death to Unlock Life
Thank you bunches for your encouragement Lisa.
Ahh…yes! Cleaning out the “shoulds” sounds like a good habit to get into. I have made myself a note on my to-do list.
I will be going back to the post that inspired you.
Barb Hegreberg recently posted…The Brighter the Light by Mary Ellen Taylor [REVIEW]
Should is a word that is so uncertain, void of action. I learned a long time ago that you’re right, Paula, it is truly of little consequrnce unless I make it so. I’m trying to let go of what I should do or think and focus on what I must and will do instead. Thx Paula for helping me leave my shoulds behind…
Your welcome Jan, we’ll toss out our shoulds together.
Paula, Lauren’s article left me pondering too! And I love now you explored our should. Still more exploring in this area. Thank you ❤
Isn’t it funny, how we are touched by something someone wrote or said that leads us to ponder and assess too?
Thanks for the shout out! Sharing on social media.
Lauren Sparks recently posted…What Should We Do With “Should”?
Your so welcome. You really touched me friend.
Hi Paula, ouch! This is so true. I can hear the “shoulds” in my day too. I think it is a great idea to start listing them as I say them, figure out and be intentional about dealing with them – do it, or scrap it, and move on! I think not only will this clear the clutter, but I think tackling the “shoulds” would also release us from a list of things that will ultimately get done, or get thrown out! Freedom in Christ!!
Great post, God bless
Tracy recently posted…Where is Your Focus?
Thank you Tracy. ” do it or scrap it and move on” I agree.
SHOULDS are so ponderous and heavy.
His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
Now to figure out what this looks like day to day. Thankfully, the Spirit guides us into all truth …
Linda Stoll recently posted…I Haven’t Found It Yet
Great update, Paula. I liked Lauren’s post too. And I have way too much “shoulds” that need cleaning out. I like when I can catch myself writing or saying should, because too many times I probably DON’T catch it. 🙁
Lisa notes recently posted…Share Four Somethings—August 2022 —Grace & Truth Linkup
I know thatyou mean, I barely catch myself talking about my “shoulda” too.
Shelbee on the Edge
Paula, this is such wonderful food for thought! I often find that I am very hard on myself when I don’t get through my whole “should” list. I am going to be more intentional in assessing my shoulds as well. I am heading over to read Lauren’s post now!
It’s domething, how hard we are on ourselves isn’t it?
Great thoughts, Paula! I find I have too many “shoulds” in my life, which muddy the waters of intentionality!
Donna recently posted…How Curiosity Tames Anxiety